Cutting down on the drink

Did I mention that I decided to stop drinking in 2009. I mention this because since 7pm this evening I have had a bottle of Chardonnay and have now had a glass of very good Shiraz. And yet I don't feel drunk... should I worry? I'll consider that over the rest of the glass of red while I watch Jo Brand being very funny on Live at The Apollo.

And into 2009

The end of The Millies came and went. It was a great night at Hampton Court Palace and I was looking after Richard Hammond from Top Gear so my TV career had come full circle from the days I did work experience on the show.

Then came Christmas - I drove Chris to Wales to spend Christmas with his family. Then we went to Manchester and spent Boxing Day and the next two days with Chris's friend Phil in his LOVELY city centre flat overlooking the Hilton Hotel tower (or whatever it's called).

After a night out in Via Fossa, Cruz 101 and Federation we got back to the flat (Phil went home with an Irish man and a South African) and I got caught up in the whole "we're in the city we love, in an amazing flat, with a great view and on a great night" and I asked Chris to marry me. He said yes (after telling me I was meant to secretly whisk him away to a tropical island and propose at sunset - which I pointed out would mean I'd be conning him into marrying me).

Now we're back in London and he's working at Rotunda. I'm back on the job hunt and have even applied for a public affairs assistant role at Stonewall (another case of coming full circle as I was the model for the Stop Descrimination in the Armed Forces campaign for Stonewall in 1996). I'm going to keep trying for more TV work but am also going to look for a real job now that I've got responsibilities. Like a grown up or something.

I'm currently reading 'Dirty White Boy' which is Clay Anderson's Myspace blog from the time he was running the shop on Old Compton Street and it's inspiring me to post more blogs more often from now on - so expect a lot of drivel whenever I get access to the web...

And so we're into 2009. I hope it's a good one...

Stress of life

Why do things get so stressful so quickly?

I'm loving my job, but with days to go to the live event at Hampton Court Palace it seems as if things that could have been sorted out weeks ago are now suddenly really urgent and it's all a bit frantic.

At least this time next week it'll all be over and I'll be on the dole again (although I can't actually sign on).

The exciting bit is that at least on the night I'll be looking after Rachel Stevens (SClub7 / Strictly Come Dancing) and Richard Hammond (Top Gear/Brainiac). That's if I'm still working here by then of course.

And Chris is down in the dumps. I really feel for him. It seems as if nothing's going right for him at the moment. He is starting getting sick of working as a waiter as the money's so rubbish, he didn't get accepted to do the voluntary phoneline work that would have taught him lots of new skills and when he got over that knock back, we came home from dinner last night and he found that the lap top leant to him by his friend, had a cracked screen (for no reason whatsoever). I really hope things start to change for him soon as it's horrible to see him on the verge of tears all the time.

I have two tickets to see Gordon Ramsey's Cookalong tonight, but Chris is working and I can't find anyone to go with me. Should I go on my own or should I just go home and watch Corrie as usual?

Playing soldiers in a field

Damn it I was cold.

We got the train to Three Bridges, which is just past Gatwick Airport. We got a 20-quid cab ride to the location and found our dressing room was a Horse Trailer next to A Big Pile Of Horse Manure.

It smelt but it was warm.

Then we got to meet 3 men from the Mercian Regiment who had been out in Afghanistan with the man who we were doing a film about. I admit that Gareth, one of the soldiers, caught my eye. He was big, he was strong, he had a scar on his top lip, he had green eyes and a cheeky smile. And he was in uniform.

Then we got kitted out. Gareth helped me get changed and made sure all my equipment and outfit was in the right place. I smiled a lot. After that we got shown how to hold and use our firearms by a very cool man called John. He has been in the special forces for 33 years and seriously knew what he was talking about. He took me under his wing and showed me everything I needed to know about how to stand, walk, talk and fire like a soldier. I had massive respect for the man and felt proud that he seemed to favour me over the other boys.

Did I mention Harry? I acquired a rather manky, bedraggled and hairy Cocker Spaniel called Harry. I don't know which farm he belonged to but Harry was by no means a preened puppy. He had knots and burrs. He had tangled hair and a thing on his bottom lip that might have had any respectable vet approaching him with a large needle of sleepforever juice.

But Harry had something special. He was just happy as hell to be alive and couldn't believe that so many new friends had come to see him. Harry decided that I was the friend of all friends and stuck by my side like glue. I didn't mind the smell that was coming from him that much at all because of the amount of love that was coming from the smelly mound of fur that was constantly at my ankles.

Then we started filmed. Lots of walking back and forth. A bit of dancing round a fire (and some of cooking that earned me a nickname of Delia). Then the real stuff came. We had to start throwing ourself into puddles on a muddy field with frost on the ground (and on our rucksacks as well) at -6. There was gunfire and explosions going on while we were on our fronts crawling through endless freezing, muddy puddles just to make it more fun.

Eventually it stopped being fun and we were praying for it all to end. Eventually it did (at 10.30pm) and we got out of our kits and into normal clothes. Then there was the journey home to consider, but we eventually arrived at Kings Cross at 2am. I finally got home at 2.30pm and had to have a bath just so I could feel my feet.

After a few hours of sleep I was up and at 'em and back in the office. Dear God.

Playing soldiers

So I'm still at Two Four Broadcast and working on The Millies for Sky One until 18 December. It's turning out to be a good show - a bit like a Military version of The Pride of Britain awards with the likes of Prince Charles, Gordon Brown and David Cameron involved. There's been a right hoo ha about getting Rachel Stevens out to Afghanistan to present an award and all because she's still in Strictly Come Dancing we've gone with Nell McAndrew instead (she's a forces sweetheart anyway so it makes good sense to have her go).

However, I have no idea what I'll be doing for work come the New Year. I'm sure something will turn up...

Today, the other researcher and I are going down to Sussex to play at being soldiers under a Taliban ambush. It's bloody freezing outside and they want us to stand in a muddy field, dressed up like soldiers and run around a bit. It's like my old days as a film extra in Gladiator, Shakespeare in Love and Notting Hill. I'm sure at some point I was dressed up as a WWII soldier and an airman as well...

I've got so many thermal clothes with me I could open my own market stall. I pray to God that the day goes well enough.

But at the moment, my main concern is food. I went to the gym last night and have come to work without breakfast so I could eat a horse.

Work's not that bad after all...

Despite a weekend of worrying - they'd moved my producer so he sits next to me and it actually makes me feel as though we're a team. Now I'm home again and eating a lovely rare fillet steak with french mustard and a nice Shiraz while watching Wild At Heart from the start. I love this show - it reminds me of my days in Cape Town.
Chris is at work until late tonight and tomorrow and I'm starting to be surprised at how much I don't like being in the flat without him - despite years of being convinced that I'd never be comfortable having someone else in my space.

Oh it's an exciting life...

Saturday night and what did I do? I went to the gym for a work out and sun bed, cooked a casserole and watched X Factor. And I wired my way through a bottle wine by the time Chris came home and then I went on (and on and on apparently) about wanting a puppy and kitten before eventually giving up and going to bed.
And to think there used to be a time when I wouldn't have dreamed of staying in on a Saturday night in case I was missing anything... Maybe I'll just go and do the dishes and some light dusting to make the weekend even more wild and crazy.

Halloween

I used to love Halloween but this year it just didn't feel very spooky at all. It was a glorious sunny day and freezing as fuck. I was at work trying to get the Military Bravery Awards celebrity audience list together and Maria came back from Florida. She was busy chatting to the exec's about her next assignment but we got the chance to catch up in the end.
So I ended up getting back home in time to watch Corrie and Eastenders but I was so tired and it was so cold that I couldn't be bothered with the whole carving pumkins things and I ended up in bed at about 9pm - only to be woken up at 2am by Chris as he stumbled in from a Halloween Party just a little bit worse for wear. I left him to finish off the last of the Fajitas from the night before and went back to sleep... When I woke up he was asleep on the sofa so I put him into bed and tidied up. Domestic bliss hey?

I'm back...

So I'm back. What a summer I've had... after working on Seven Deadly Sins I went straight onto Wife Swap and it was AWFUL. Talk about a mental producer. She was MENTAL. She kept sending me out to literally beg people to appear on the show - without thinking that a man wandering around Clapham Common asking single women with children for their phone numbers might arouse some suspicion.
Then I did some development research with a producer that I literally wanted to punch from morning to night. In fact, just thinking about her now makes me want to cause her physical harm.
But after that I didn't work for about 6 weeks and spent that time getting the new kitchen fitted (and it's lovely), tidying and cleaning the flat and throwing some paint at the walls. So at least the flat looks nice.
And everything is still wonderful with Chris and I. He's just so lovely.
Workwise, I'm back at Two Four and working on a military awards show for Sky One, where I'm finding celebs to endorse the show and might even have to go out to Afghanistan to do some filming at some point.
But more importantly than all that - it's Halloween. I need to carve my pumpkin...

Wife Swap

So I've left Seven Deadly Sins behind me and moved on to Channel 4's series 'Wife Swap'. It's a great show with a top notch company so it all bodes well. Considering it's meant to be really hard to get your foot in the door at RDF then I must be doing something right.

The team are really nice - all girls so we get on really well and I'm still at the enthusiastic puppy dog stage. Despite being a bit sunburnt from a day repotting palm trees in the garden on Saturday I've been through the papers and printed out loads of fliers today.

Though it's hometime and I think I'll head back to the flat, watch Eastenders, have some food and then head to a few lesbian and gay bars in Islington and Stoke Newington to see if I can drum up some trade.

Or I might just stay in and do it tomorrow afternoon instead. Hey ho...

The end of Sins

Will it never end?

I thought I'd finished on The Seven Deadly Sins and here I am again. Frankly I've stopped caring about people who eat living octopus in Los Angeles and finding pie eaters in Wigan.

I had an interview today for a job on Wife Swap and I think I could do that. Of course I might not feel the same in a few weeks time.

But when you consider that I sent out 10 copies of my C.V. earlier this week and have had 2 interviews and several positive responses I feel pretty confident about my place in television. And I have a feeling that if I take the job at Wife Swap they'll move me up to Assistant Producer within the month - from what I was told at the interview and then again when I got back to Two Four by Melissa who used to work on the show.

And on top of all that I get to come home to the gorgeous Chris at the end of each day.

Did I mention I've rejoined Fitness First again and am working out 4 times a week now. It's so handy that they've opened a branch 5 minutes walk from my flat and it's a nice new gym with a lot of really hot men there to give me 'inspiration'...

All in all - life is good.

Fucking Glamour Models

I never want to work with glamour models EVER again.

Yesterday was one of the longest and most tiring days of my life. All because of some airhead bimbo Scottish bitch called Kimberly Lee, who I could happily beat to death with my bare hands. And unfortunately, I'm going to have to finish the shoot next Wednesday night and Thursday with her too.

Feeling content

For the first time in a long time I realised I am feeling really good about life.

I was walking home through Finsbury Park. It was a nice summer evening with people scattered around the grass, the breeze making leaves on the trees rustle and a swarm of starlings twittering above me.

It dawned on me that I am really content with my life right now. I have a great job that keeps me busy but gives me a sense of achievement, I'm now living with a boyfriend who makes me feel happy, puts a smile on a face and obviously really loves me, my flat is getting sorted out, my car is all sorted (although it needs waxing) and I've got enough money coming through by the end of the week to pay off my debts and give me a bit left to enjoy life with.

I got home and sorted more of Chris's things out. His Bose speakers really are good and I played a few of my favourite tunes from my new diamond iPod on it before watching a Sex and the City double bill.

Life. Is. Good.

Chris moves in

Chris came home at 4.30pm and woke me up. I felt better than I thought I would and had a shower. We decided to get something to eat before moving his stuff over to my flat.

We walked down a little path by the reservoir. It was LOVELY. We walked through Clissold Park with an ice cream and couldn't believe how great the weather was. There were lots of people in the park and it was just the perfect day.

Then we wandered down Stoke Newington Church Street until we found a nice little Greek restaurant and we ordered some mezze and pimm's. I drank a lot of water. Suddenly the excess of last night hit me and I started to feel really ill. I was sweating and could smell whiskey coming out of my pores.

After a while I started to feel better and we walked back through the park. Chris went back to his to get things ready and then I drove over. We started to pack up the car and bring things over to my place. It wasn't easy but we got it all onto the roof garden.

Then we had the hard part to do. We got his side board over and put it in the living room and then we had to carry the book shelf unit by hand from his to mine. It wasn't that hard in the end. We got that into the hallway.

By then it was 11pm and I needed food so I got some KFC and chips. I ate that while watching Hustle. Chris came back from his last trip home and we went to bed. Talk about shattered!

Julian's Record Launch

I went to see Chris at his work and had some food and drinks. After that I went for a wander around Islington and it was lovely. Then I bought some clothes for summer. I got some shirts, a light pair of trousers and shorts as well as some flip flops and sunglasses. I put it on my card because I know that money from the bank will turn up on Friday.

Then I drove home and tried everything on. While watching Britain's Got Talent I decided to go to Julian Bennett's launch party at Heaven for his new single 'Camp Freddie'.

I put my new blue shirt on and headed down there for about 10.30pm. I saw Julian in the street and he told me that he'd see me inside. I went in and the first person I saw was Miss Kimberley. She introduced me to Chris Jepson who's a photographer for QX. He took lots of photos of us which was fun. Then Julian appeared again and introduced me to lots of people. There was one of the girls from X Factor there - the black girl with the big hair and great voice. Dusty O was there too and several other glamorous people. There was a photographer for OK Magazine there too and he took photos for me with Julian and several other people. He was nice and we hung out a bit.

Then Julian performed his song with some backing dancers. It was all a lot of fun. Then things got a bit blurry. I got really quite drunk in the main club and in the end decided it was time to head home. I got the bus and fell asleep on the bus so woke up in Wood Green somewhere. I got a taxi home and just got chatting to these two French boys outside the flat so invited them and their bottle of whiskey up to the flat.

Chris went to work and was laughing at how drunk I was. I had a great time with the two French boys and found out that it was Eduardo's birthday so we drank more and then passed out. At around 12.30pm they got up and headed out. I went to bed and passed out.

Chris moves in

So after 4 months, Chris has moved his stuff in.

Well he's put some of his stuff in storage and moved a few of his things in for a few weeks while he waits to hear about the place in Camden he's hoping to get.

I got home from work last night and he'd cooked a lovely meal of salmon, prawns and pasta. There were a few glasses of wine and a Sex and the City double bill.

I went out on to the roof garden for a bit and enjoyed the summer evening with a glass of wine while he read on the sofa for a bit.

We got to bed early and I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. So this is what it's like to live together...

Finding people who eat things that are still alive

I didn't want to go to work today. I'd not slept very well after I spent the night under a summer blanket following Sable deciding to wee on the bed while I was at work. Not that it was her fault - I'd accidentally locked her in the bedroom when I left for work...

I got up this morning at 6am and went to vote for the London Mayor. Even though I quite fancy Brian Paddock, I ended up voting for Ken Livingstone rather than facing the wrath of Chris and Maria. I did put Brian down as my second choice though so at least it'll count somewhere down the line.

Then I got ready for work and climbed back into bed with Chris. It just felt so good to be laying in bed with him and giggling about nothing together. But eventually it was time for me to leave for work.

I got to work and contacted the kiss and tell girl to say that we'd see her on Tuesday. Then I got hunting for someone who eats live food. Amazingly, you can eat a lot of things while they're still alive. Did you know that if you order Lobster Sashimi then the lobster is still alive on the plate and will keep moving all the way through your meal before it eventually dies. And that you can eat live octopus tentacles and live sashimi with the fish slices taken off the living fish while it's on the plate in front of you so it is still gasping for air as you eat. I was disgusted and hated seeing the footage on youtube - but it's my job to find things that people will watch and talk about afterwards so I hunted for the best I could.

Eventually I found a blog from a guy called Eddie who runs www.deepdowndining.com and saw what he gets up to. By then it was time to leave so I went to see Chris at work and had a lovely dinner at Giraffe. I had 2 glasses of wine and a lovely duck and noodle thing. The place was busy so Chris didn't have much time to spend with me but it was just nice to be around him.

I left and got the bus home. Then I sat on the sofa and watched Sex and the City with a gin and tonic.

I'm starting to feel a bit grown up. At last.

Sorting out the car

I finally got myself together to get the car fixed. I got it down to the garage before work on Monday and then went to get it first thing on Tuesday. I got to the garage early and it was still shut so I went for a wander. I'm amazed at how many very sexy Polish men there are wandering around the streets of Seven Sisters of a morning.

I got the car and drove home before getting ready and going to work.

I spent an hour on the phone to the Halifax to sort out my finances. Then I managed to find a great kiss and tell girl for the Greed show and she's Scottish with a passion for shagging the likes of Robbie Williams, Daniel Baldwin, Eminem and more before selling her story to the press. Great!

After work I got home and felt like going out. I dragged Chris out to see Chris Reardon at The Golden Lion in Kings Cross for his karaoke night. Chris was shattered but he managed to force a couple of glasses of red wine down him. There were a few of the old Gran Canaria crowd there which was nice.

We stopped off at Tesco on Essex Road and got some shopping in. Then we got home and had pizza and a few glasses of wine while watching Family Guy.

Chris had a full day of work in the morning so I ironed a shirt for us both and sent him off to work while I got ready for another day of sinner hunting.

Picnic on a sunny day

I got up around 11am and pottered around the flat. I was shattered and a bit hungover but that soon went.
It was such a lovely day and I did some laundry and let it dry on the roof garden. I woke Chris up around 1pm and we decided to go for a picnic in the park. He was really hungover and tired but we got some ice cream and other stuff and went to sit in the sun in the park for a couple of hours.
He went to work and I pottered home. I got my hair cut and then sat watching TV. As the evening went on I got more and more tired and decided to go for a little lie down for an hour.
Chris called me at 10.30 to see if I wanted to go to his bosses house for a party after work and I said yes but then I fell back to sleep and when I woke up there was no way I could have been sociable and so I sent him a text to say I couldn't get out of bed.
I fell back to sleep and only woke up when I heard Chris crashing through the front door at 5.30am. He actually looked really great considering he'd been doing dirty drugs at someone's house with people from work and an alcoholic flatmate. Sable had coughed up a fur ball right by the bedroom door and he was busy cleaning it up when I made it out of the bedroom.
I got him back into bed and of course he was horny with all the coke so I knobbed him and we went to sleep.
When the alarm went off at 8.30am I got up, ironed his top for work, laid out some pants and socks and his top along with his jeans. Made him a coffee and ran him a bath. Then I woke him up and helped him get ready for work.
He left and I chatted to Clive on Facebook for a bit while doing more laundry. I really must sort the car out today but I'm still tired so might just go and have a nap for a bit.

Back from filming in Boston again

So we finished all our filming in Boston and I drove back to London. Maria slept part of the way back down and I was shattered too but being able to drive a Mercedes ML 4x4 for 3 hours was so much fun I was determined to enjoy every second.
Chris was going to go out and meet his ex flatmate Jamie for drinks in Crouch Hill and he asked if I wanted to join them but when I got home, Jamie hadn't rang so we decided to go to Il Baccio in Highbury instead.
We had some really great food and a bottle of wine. It was so nice to just sit and chat. I brought up the fact that he hadn't changed his gaydar profile since we got together and that I would prefer it if people didn't assume he was single and making suggestive comments to him when he logged on drunk from time to time. He looked upset that he hadn't done it sooner and I felt awkward for bringing it up. But that passed and we went home, got another bottle of wine and watched Malice on TV.
I was shattered and wanted to go to bed but we sat up longer. Chris got drunk and excited so I went to sleep and he sat up reading for a bit on the sofa.