new phone

I've got one of these new touch screen phones. Now I'll be able to blog loud and clear from all over the place. Restaurants, bars and from my bed.

My Birthday Party

Oh I had so much fun. I booked the upstairs bar at The Village Soho, where I used to hang out all the time in the mid-nineties and where I met Clive and my ex-boyfriend Steven.

There was so much champagne and Chris baked the most amazing chocolate birthday cake. Clive and Robbie turned up, Riannah, Simon and Rachel from work made it down and Richard Quest from CNN very kindly came along and bought 2 bottles of champagne to help things go well. My first ever boyfriend, Jonathan came along with his friend Dave and Tom, Dave and Susannah made the effort to come as well. My actor friend Alistair came for a quick drink and ended up getting very drunk and staying all night long and my friend Mad Joe came too and brought me a massive bunch of flowers which were lovely.

We drank a lot of champange and just had the best time.

Since then I've decided to get back to the gym and have been doing an hour of cardio every night since Saturday and am starting to feel like I'm getting my old body back again. Phew!

So much to tell...

God there's so much to tell.

I still haven't got any TV work and neither has anyone I know in telly. It's like last year all over again (without the dying cat and new relationship to concentrate on).

Chris and I have been considering getting a dog, but until I know what I'm doing workwise then it's just not fair on a puppy.

Oh my god - there was so much snow on Monday and London shut down. The buses didn't run and the tube lines got suspended. Chris got the day off and we went up to Hampstead Heath with Eric and had a lovely time. It's funny how much nicer everything seemed when we got some time off to spend together.



I'm thinking about trying to get a job at Foxtons as I always loved property and enjoy meeting people so it seems like a good combination. And you can make shed loads of cash too...

I went to Jonathan Simpson's 35th Birthday party last night and it was great fun. He booked a booth at Lucky Voice underneath Yo Sushi on Poland Street. It was me and 13 very hairy bears singing along to ABBA. It's strange to think that it's 18 years since we met to the day - the day I came out on the Manchester Gay Scene. He was my first boyfriend and it was so nice to be able to celebrate his birthday together. And it was even nicer that he let me take home the rest of his birthday cake so that Chris could share it as well.



Therefore I'm hungover. I'm trying to do some housework but seem to be sitting here drinking wine and chatting to Clive on Facebook while learning how to deal with Twitter. Is this my life? Endless internet sites and constant gossiping?

Why am I asking this question on blogger? It's hardly helpful.

Hanging out at The Ivy and The Groucho Club

So Jaci Stephens from The Daily Mail invited me to be a part of her quiz team at The Ivy Club on Wednesday night. I said that of course I'd do it, but then started to worry about how much I really know.

I went along and found the Ivy Club (it's just next door to The Ivy Restaurant) and I checked my bag and coat in. The place is LOVELY and felt very calming and classy. I had a vodka and tonic at the bar (nine pounds if you please) and waited for Jaci. There was a live pianist behind me and some very cute bar staff to look at.

Eventually Jaci turned up with her friends and we got ourselves a table. We all got chatting and then I saw Simon Sadler and his friend, the lovely and very handsome Piers Horne. I went over and chatted to them about Skiing and work etc before going back to join Jaci.

We did the quiz and it was great fun. In the first two round we were 2nd but by the end we came 3rd. Jaci wasn't happy, but as it was out of 11 teams I thought we did OK. Jaci proceeded to get us invited over to join the winning team and we all got chatting. The drinks were flowing and the chatting increased. I met a lovely lady called Amanda who looked like a cross between Caroline Quentin and someone else famous... it'll come to me later.

I got telling her about Dirty White Boy as we got chatting about Soho and ended up lending her the book. She promised to give it back to me when we came back to the Oscar Quiz on 29 Jan.

I met Duncan Ballantyne at the bar while I was getting a new bottle of wine and he was charm personified. I have to say I was terribly impressed with how nice and chatty he was.

Then Jaci and her new friends decided to go to The Groucho Club and so I tagged along. That's when things sort of got a bit too drunken for my liking. When I got there, Jaci asked if I'd taken anything as my throat had gone hoarse and I'd become very animated. I swore I hadn't but she didn't seem to believe me. I just had a sore throat because I had a cold coming on and I was animated because we were now on our 4th bottle of wine so I'd probably had nearly a bottle and half to myself. That's after the large vodka at the start of the evening.

So when it came time to leave (at 4am) we got our jackets and Jaci invited us back to her place on Great Portland Street. I briefly said hello to Maggot from Goldie Looking Chain, and said that I'd been one of the team of loggers that had worked on the Big Brother he was on and it had been lovely to log him as he was so nice... However, I was pulled out of the club by Jaci and the next thing I knew we were in a taxi back to Jaci's house...

Jaci's house is just lovely. It's a stunning loft space with a balcony from the living room and a huge bedroom. There is a glass roof and massive windows. We sat in the living room and drank champagne. As you can imagine, we were all quite drunk by that point and the conversation started to rotate around my sex life, which I wasn't comfortable with but chatted away regardless. I wish now we'd have found something else to discuss I have to say.

Anyway, it got to about 5.30am and Jaci had to go to bed, so our two new friends and myself decided to walk down to Balans for breakfast. We sat in Balans cafe and chatted over breakfast as the sun came up and the delivery people went about their business. It was just us and a young prostitute with her Polish pimp. She was quite sweet and he was quite fatherly, but not enough for us to be convinced he was really her father. His accent had a lot to do with that.

So my new friends left - one to go home and one to go to work - and I got the tube home. When I got in, Chris was in bed and so I crawled in next to him and spent the rest of the day feeling hungover, full of a cold and very tired.

Over, the next few days, my cold went global and I coughed and spluttered my way through a lot of tissue paper and self pity.

My first anniversary with Chris

Can you believe it's been a year since I met Chris?

He was working during the day - and I had a hangover after going to see Sandra at The Black Cap - so I slept until about 2pm and then got myself sorted out. I ironed Chris's shirt and trousers and a top for me, then I had a bath and a shave before going down to the shops to get Chris the watch that I wanted to get him for an anniversary present. I got the watch, a card and some wrapping before dropping the car off and getting the train down to King's Cross to meet Chris at his work.

We went for a drink at a lovely little gastro pub on York Way and his boss Liz was there too. She was lovely and wished us a happy anniversary. Then we walked up to Islington and went for some food at The Fish Works. We had oysters, calamari, fishcakes, mussels and more oysters as well as 2 bottles of wine and some champagne. I gave Chris is watch and he was very happy.

Then we walked down to the cinema and watched Slumdog Millionaire - which was a lot more gruesome than I'd expected and not quite the 'feel good movie' I'd been told about. I didn't like the bits where children were having their eyes burned out with oil, teenage prostitutes being raped in the back of cars, the lead character being tortured with car batteries strapped to his feet or the murder of his brother in a bath full of money near the end.

However, we got out of there and went to the Edward for a gin and tonic - just like on our first date.

Then we got the tube home and both agreed we were very happy.

When I am old...

I've finally found a poem that my mother used to love as I was growing up. Obviously, she didn't live long enough to wear purple with a red hat so maybe I'll take up the mantel one day. Or maybe I'll do it tomorrow.

WARNING by Jenny Joseph

When I am old I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Cutting down on the drink

Did I mention that I decided to stop drinking in 2009. I mention this because since 7pm this evening I have had a bottle of Chardonnay and have now had a glass of very good Shiraz. And yet I don't feel drunk... should I worry? I'll consider that over the rest of the glass of red while I watch Jo Brand being very funny on Live at The Apollo.

And into 2009

The end of The Millies came and went. It was a great night at Hampton Court Palace and I was looking after Richard Hammond from Top Gear so my TV career had come full circle from the days I did work experience on the show.

Then came Christmas - I drove Chris to Wales to spend Christmas with his family. Then we went to Manchester and spent Boxing Day and the next two days with Chris's friend Phil in his LOVELY city centre flat overlooking the Hilton Hotel tower (or whatever it's called).

After a night out in Via Fossa, Cruz 101 and Federation we got back to the flat (Phil went home with an Irish man and a South African) and I got caught up in the whole "we're in the city we love, in an amazing flat, with a great view and on a great night" and I asked Chris to marry me. He said yes (after telling me I was meant to secretly whisk him away to a tropical island and propose at sunset - which I pointed out would mean I'd be conning him into marrying me).

Now we're back in London and he's working at Rotunda. I'm back on the job hunt and have even applied for a public affairs assistant role at Stonewall (another case of coming full circle as I was the model for the Stop Descrimination in the Armed Forces campaign for Stonewall in 1996). I'm going to keep trying for more TV work but am also going to look for a real job now that I've got responsibilities. Like a grown up or something.

I'm currently reading 'Dirty White Boy' which is Clay Anderson's Myspace blog from the time he was running the shop on Old Compton Street and it's inspiring me to post more blogs more often from now on - so expect a lot of drivel whenever I get access to the web...

And so we're into 2009. I hope it's a good one...

Stress of life

Why do things get so stressful so quickly?

I'm loving my job, but with days to go to the live event at Hampton Court Palace it seems as if things that could have been sorted out weeks ago are now suddenly really urgent and it's all a bit frantic.

At least this time next week it'll all be over and I'll be on the dole again (although I can't actually sign on).

The exciting bit is that at least on the night I'll be looking after Rachel Stevens (SClub7 / Strictly Come Dancing) and Richard Hammond (Top Gear/Brainiac). That's if I'm still working here by then of course.

And Chris is down in the dumps. I really feel for him. It seems as if nothing's going right for him at the moment. He is starting getting sick of working as a waiter as the money's so rubbish, he didn't get accepted to do the voluntary phoneline work that would have taught him lots of new skills and when he got over that knock back, we came home from dinner last night and he found that the lap top leant to him by his friend, had a cracked screen (for no reason whatsoever). I really hope things start to change for him soon as it's horrible to see him on the verge of tears all the time.

I have two tickets to see Gordon Ramsey's Cookalong tonight, but Chris is working and I can't find anyone to go with me. Should I go on my own or should I just go home and watch Corrie as usual?

Playing soldiers in a field

Damn it I was cold.

We got the train to Three Bridges, which is just past Gatwick Airport. We got a 20-quid cab ride to the location and found our dressing room was a Horse Trailer next to A Big Pile Of Horse Manure.

It smelt but it was warm.

Then we got to meet 3 men from the Mercian Regiment who had been out in Afghanistan with the man who we were doing a film about. I admit that Gareth, one of the soldiers, caught my eye. He was big, he was strong, he had a scar on his top lip, he had green eyes and a cheeky smile. And he was in uniform.

Then we got kitted out. Gareth helped me get changed and made sure all my equipment and outfit was in the right place. I smiled a lot. After that we got shown how to hold and use our firearms by a very cool man called John. He has been in the special forces for 33 years and seriously knew what he was talking about. He took me under his wing and showed me everything I needed to know about how to stand, walk, talk and fire like a soldier. I had massive respect for the man and felt proud that he seemed to favour me over the other boys.

Did I mention Harry? I acquired a rather manky, bedraggled and hairy Cocker Spaniel called Harry. I don't know which farm he belonged to but Harry was by no means a preened puppy. He had knots and burrs. He had tangled hair and a thing on his bottom lip that might have had any respectable vet approaching him with a large needle of sleepforever juice.

But Harry had something special. He was just happy as hell to be alive and couldn't believe that so many new friends had come to see him. Harry decided that I was the friend of all friends and stuck by my side like glue. I didn't mind the smell that was coming from him that much at all because of the amount of love that was coming from the smelly mound of fur that was constantly at my ankles.

Then we started filmed. Lots of walking back and forth. A bit of dancing round a fire (and some of cooking that earned me a nickname of Delia). Then the real stuff came. We had to start throwing ourself into puddles on a muddy field with frost on the ground (and on our rucksacks as well) at -6. There was gunfire and explosions going on while we were on our fronts crawling through endless freezing, muddy puddles just to make it more fun.

Eventually it stopped being fun and we were praying for it all to end. Eventually it did (at 10.30pm) and we got out of our kits and into normal clothes. Then there was the journey home to consider, but we eventually arrived at Kings Cross at 2am. I finally got home at 2.30pm and had to have a bath just so I could feel my feet.

After a few hours of sleep I was up and at 'em and back in the office. Dear God.

Playing soldiers

So I'm still at Two Four Broadcast and working on The Millies for Sky One until 18 December. It's turning out to be a good show - a bit like a Military version of The Pride of Britain awards with the likes of Prince Charles, Gordon Brown and David Cameron involved. There's been a right hoo ha about getting Rachel Stevens out to Afghanistan to present an award and all because she's still in Strictly Come Dancing we've gone with Nell McAndrew instead (she's a forces sweetheart anyway so it makes good sense to have her go).

However, I have no idea what I'll be doing for work come the New Year. I'm sure something will turn up...

Today, the other researcher and I are going down to Sussex to play at being soldiers under a Taliban ambush. It's bloody freezing outside and they want us to stand in a muddy field, dressed up like soldiers and run around a bit. It's like my old days as a film extra in Gladiator, Shakespeare in Love and Notting Hill. I'm sure at some point I was dressed up as a WWII soldier and an airman as well...

I've got so many thermal clothes with me I could open my own market stall. I pray to God that the day goes well enough.

But at the moment, my main concern is food. I went to the gym last night and have come to work without breakfast so I could eat a horse.

Work's not that bad after all...

Despite a weekend of worrying - they'd moved my producer so he sits next to me and it actually makes me feel as though we're a team. Now I'm home again and eating a lovely rare fillet steak with french mustard and a nice Shiraz while watching Wild At Heart from the start. I love this show - it reminds me of my days in Cape Town.
Chris is at work until late tonight and tomorrow and I'm starting to be surprised at how much I don't like being in the flat without him - despite years of being convinced that I'd never be comfortable having someone else in my space.

Oh it's an exciting life...

Saturday night and what did I do? I went to the gym for a work out and sun bed, cooked a casserole and watched X Factor. And I wired my way through a bottle wine by the time Chris came home and then I went on (and on and on apparently) about wanting a puppy and kitten before eventually giving up and going to bed.
And to think there used to be a time when I wouldn't have dreamed of staying in on a Saturday night in case I was missing anything... Maybe I'll just go and do the dishes and some light dusting to make the weekend even more wild and crazy.

Halloween

I used to love Halloween but this year it just didn't feel very spooky at all. It was a glorious sunny day and freezing as fuck. I was at work trying to get the Military Bravery Awards celebrity audience list together and Maria came back from Florida. She was busy chatting to the exec's about her next assignment but we got the chance to catch up in the end.
So I ended up getting back home in time to watch Corrie and Eastenders but I was so tired and it was so cold that I couldn't be bothered with the whole carving pumkins things and I ended up in bed at about 9pm - only to be woken up at 2am by Chris as he stumbled in from a Halloween Party just a little bit worse for wear. I left him to finish off the last of the Fajitas from the night before and went back to sleep... When I woke up he was asleep on the sofa so I put him into bed and tidied up. Domestic bliss hey?

I'm back...

So I'm back. What a summer I've had... after working on Seven Deadly Sins I went straight onto Wife Swap and it was AWFUL. Talk about a mental producer. She was MENTAL. She kept sending me out to literally beg people to appear on the show - without thinking that a man wandering around Clapham Common asking single women with children for their phone numbers might arouse some suspicion.
Then I did some development research with a producer that I literally wanted to punch from morning to night. In fact, just thinking about her now makes me want to cause her physical harm.
But after that I didn't work for about 6 weeks and spent that time getting the new kitchen fitted (and it's lovely), tidying and cleaning the flat and throwing some paint at the walls. So at least the flat looks nice.
And everything is still wonderful with Chris and I. He's just so lovely.
Workwise, I'm back at Two Four and working on a military awards show for Sky One, where I'm finding celebs to endorse the show and might even have to go out to Afghanistan to do some filming at some point.
But more importantly than all that - it's Halloween. I need to carve my pumpkin...

Wife Swap

So I've left Seven Deadly Sins behind me and moved on to Channel 4's series 'Wife Swap'. It's a great show with a top notch company so it all bodes well. Considering it's meant to be really hard to get your foot in the door at RDF then I must be doing something right.

The team are really nice - all girls so we get on really well and I'm still at the enthusiastic puppy dog stage. Despite being a bit sunburnt from a day repotting palm trees in the garden on Saturday I've been through the papers and printed out loads of fliers today.

Though it's hometime and I think I'll head back to the flat, watch Eastenders, have some food and then head to a few lesbian and gay bars in Islington and Stoke Newington to see if I can drum up some trade.

Or I might just stay in and do it tomorrow afternoon instead. Hey ho...

The end of Sins

Will it never end?

I thought I'd finished on The Seven Deadly Sins and here I am again. Frankly I've stopped caring about people who eat living octopus in Los Angeles and finding pie eaters in Wigan.

I had an interview today for a job on Wife Swap and I think I could do that. Of course I might not feel the same in a few weeks time.

But when you consider that I sent out 10 copies of my C.V. earlier this week and have had 2 interviews and several positive responses I feel pretty confident about my place in television. And I have a feeling that if I take the job at Wife Swap they'll move me up to Assistant Producer within the month - from what I was told at the interview and then again when I got back to Two Four by Melissa who used to work on the show.

And on top of all that I get to come home to the gorgeous Chris at the end of each day.

Did I mention I've rejoined Fitness First again and am working out 4 times a week now. It's so handy that they've opened a branch 5 minutes walk from my flat and it's a nice new gym with a lot of really hot men there to give me 'inspiration'...

All in all - life is good.

Fucking Glamour Models

I never want to work with glamour models EVER again.

Yesterday was one of the longest and most tiring days of my life. All because of some airhead bimbo Scottish bitch called Kimberly Lee, who I could happily beat to death with my bare hands. And unfortunately, I'm going to have to finish the shoot next Wednesday night and Thursday with her too.

Feeling content

For the first time in a long time I realised I am feeling really good about life.

I was walking home through Finsbury Park. It was a nice summer evening with people scattered around the grass, the breeze making leaves on the trees rustle and a swarm of starlings twittering above me.

It dawned on me that I am really content with my life right now. I have a great job that keeps me busy but gives me a sense of achievement, I'm now living with a boyfriend who makes me feel happy, puts a smile on a face and obviously really loves me, my flat is getting sorted out, my car is all sorted (although it needs waxing) and I've got enough money coming through by the end of the week to pay off my debts and give me a bit left to enjoy life with.

I got home and sorted more of Chris's things out. His Bose speakers really are good and I played a few of my favourite tunes from my new diamond iPod on it before watching a Sex and the City double bill.

Life. Is. Good.

Chris moves in

Chris came home at 4.30pm and woke me up. I felt better than I thought I would and had a shower. We decided to get something to eat before moving his stuff over to my flat.

We walked down a little path by the reservoir. It was LOVELY. We walked through Clissold Park with an ice cream and couldn't believe how great the weather was. There were lots of people in the park and it was just the perfect day.

Then we wandered down Stoke Newington Church Street until we found a nice little Greek restaurant and we ordered some mezze and pimm's. I drank a lot of water. Suddenly the excess of last night hit me and I started to feel really ill. I was sweating and could smell whiskey coming out of my pores.

After a while I started to feel better and we walked back through the park. Chris went back to his to get things ready and then I drove over. We started to pack up the car and bring things over to my place. It wasn't easy but we got it all onto the roof garden.

Then we had the hard part to do. We got his side board over and put it in the living room and then we had to carry the book shelf unit by hand from his to mine. It wasn't that hard in the end. We got that into the hallway.

By then it was 11pm and I needed food so I got some KFC and chips. I ate that while watching Hustle. Chris came back from his last trip home and we went to bed. Talk about shattered!