Jay's funeral

I went into CNN and carried on plugging away at the Open Skies Stuff. I'm so bored of it now. There's just so much information and companies don't seem to want to give out too much information in case it affects share prices.
Eventually at around 11am I got the chance to get my producers attention. I told her that it was Jay's funeral today and could I leave about 1pm. She seemed to think that I'd just turned up even though I'd been there for an hour and a half and she said 'so you're asking for the day off then?'.

I said I'd just need the afternoon off if that was OK. She said it was fine to go at 1pm.

At 12.30pm she asked me to create a table of all the companies that had bought Boeing 787's since 2004. She didn't suggest where to get the information from but I looked on the Boeing website. There were press releases and so I worked through each press release for the past 4 years and compiled a table for her. She didn't look impressed when I gave it to her and asked where I'd got the information from. I said Boeing and she seemed to accept it.

It was now 1.30pm and I had to get home, get changed and drive to somewhere near Lewisham by 3pm. I eventually left my flat at about 2.30pm and proceeded to get horribly lost. I eventually got the crematorium for about 4pm.

There was nobody there. But when I saw Jay's name on the wall in the list of funerals for the day it hit me that he was dead. I started crying. I'm glad nobody else was there.

I called Clae and he said that they were at his brother Terry's house for the wake. He told me to meet him at the end of the Rotherhithe tunnel and we'd take it from there.

I got lost again but I met him and his friends by the funeral directors car park. Clae was in the kilt that he got married to Jay in. I said it was strange to see him in it again and he told me that he was only wearing it because everything else decent that he had was lost in the fire that killed Jay.

That blew me away.

We walked up to his brother's flat and everyone was there. It was nice to see people again but not under those circumstances.

Psycho David was there and having his own drama about how much Jay's death had affected him. I didn't even bother with him this time and just got chatting to some lesbian care worker and Clae's other brother Matt. The view from Terry's flat was amazing - you can see right across London and Canary Wharf looks stunning from that angle.

Terry was lovely and looked after me and Matt and I sort of flirted. He told me about his ex-boyfriend having cancer but not wanting to tell him the details even though he knew he was going to die soon. I got chatting to Clae, Matt and Terry's mum and she was lovely. It was strange to see Jay's mum there as she'd flown out from Cape Town and she did look so much like him.

Slowly everyone left and I ended up on my own with Terry and a bottle of wine. We chatted until about 1am and I left. I got home and into bed for about 2.30pm.

I'm dreading work tomorrow. When will it end?